A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, “I’m so sorry, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed
The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.
“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “I mean, you
haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just
be in a coma or something.
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room,
and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood
on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination
table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then
looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a
few moments later with a cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately
at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it’s
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as
I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck.”
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few
keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150.00!”,
she screamed, “$150.00 just to tell me my duck is dead!?!”
“The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for
it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report
and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.00.